Anxiety and Irrational thoughts
I go through seasons of my anxiety taking over, and other seasons where I feel like I can conquer the world and nothing can stop me.
Winter (and lack of sunshine) seems to cause my anxiety to flare up more than normal. I don't know if it is because there is also the reflection of the last year when the new year comes, lack of vitamin D, or that my business is a little slower and I have more time to think.
Recently, my irrational thoughts have taken over more than I would like to admit--so whenever this happens, I know it is time to put pen to paper (or fingers to the keyboard) and speak truth to the lies that the devil is trying to put on me.
I am going to share some of these thoughts because I know that some of you have had something similar--and we have to fight them together. I have these completely irrational thoughts about people sitting around talking about me.
People saying things like, "She works too much. She doesn't work hard enough. She has gained weight. She isn't a good mom. She isn't a good wife. She is a fraud. She charges too much and isn't worth it. She is a hot mess. She isn't enough."
When in reality. People are so busy worrying about their own life...that they probably don't care if my dishes aren't done before I go to bed, or that I've gained weight. They are worrying more about if they are a good mom and wife than if I am.
2 Corinthians 11:3 says,
"But I am afraid that just as Eve was deceived by the serpent’s cunning, your minds may somehow be led astray from your sincere and pure devotion to Christ."
Satan absolutely wants us to be focused on ANYTHING but Christ and our mission here on earth. If he can distract us, get us stuck in our heads, or keep us in a state of anxiety and depression--he is keeping us from being the hands and feet of Jesus Christ here on earth.
You know what is crazy? As a pastor's wife...I've literally been living the last few months believing the lies of the devil that no one at the church loves me or wants me there. When I know in my heart that this is a unrealistic thought.
How to fight it?
Put good things in your head and heart. Have you ever heard the story of "which dog to feed?"
I'm totally going to butcher this, so give me grace--I heard it in a sermon probably 10 years ago.
There are two dogs inside. One is negative, one is positive. If you feed the negative dog (or voice) by letting those negative thoughts creep in, saying them outloud, or dwelling on them--that dog will get bigger and louder and drown out the voice of the positive dog. If you feed the positive dog--fighting off the negative thoughts, reading scripture and positive books, listen to positive music and podcasts, and say out loud positive things--that dog will grow and be louder than the negative.
Here is what I'm going to do--and I hope you will do it with me.
1. I'm going to find one good thing about myself in every picture and say it out loud--like, "dang, my eyes look so pretty."
2. I'm going to say 3 positive things about myself every time an irrational thought comes in.
3. I'm going to continue to meditate and pray every day.
4. I'm going to fuel my body with good things. Nutrient rich foods, and cut out the sugar.
5. I'm going to listen to at least one podcast a day (plenty of listening time when I'm editing!)
6. I'm going to surround myself with positive people who are also on the same journey as me. If someone is pouring negativity into me--I'm going to spend less time with them.
7. I'm going to spend time in scripture daily.
8. I'm going to do yoga or go for a run every day.
I am strong. I am beautiful. I am a good mom. I am a good wife. I am a talented photographer. I am hard working. I am smart. I am valuable. I am worthy of love.
I am loved by so many.
I will not listen to the lies of the devil--and I definitely will not repeat them or speak them into existence.
Please comment 10 wonderful things about yourself that you believe or WANT to believe.