We will not live in a spirit of fear.
"We will not live in a spirit of fear."
Tony's words as we made a decision for our family that would affect the new few weeks, possibly months, and even years of our lives.
We were asked to consider taking another foster/kinship care placement into our home--the sister to our adopted daughter who had just been born. I cannot go into details of the case, or what is the reason that we got the call, all I can say is that Tony and I prayed about it and came to the conclusion that God was calling us to care for and love this little newborn.
I thought I would write a blog to answer some of the questions that we have been getting asked over the last few weeks.
"Will you be able to adopt?"
Unless a parent chooses to sign their rights over (which did not happen), adoption out of foster care doesn't work like that. Parents are given a case plan to work towards reunification. What this means is there will be visitation, and things that have to be done in order for the bios to get custody back. It is way too early to know how long we will have this precious little princess. It could be weeks, months, years, or possibly adoption--but every case is different and there is no way to know at this time.
"Those awful parents!"
Not all parents who lose custody of their kids are awful and abusive. In fact, when you are a foster mom or dad, you often hurt and ache for the bios because you know that they love their child, and you know what they are missing out on. Obviously if someone has lost custody of their child, bad decisions were made along the way; however, that doesn't always mean that they are as awful as you dream up in your head. I have probably cried for them as much as they have for themselves. This beautiful baby came into the world out of love, her bios are just not able to take care of her at this time. (I know this is a vague way to say it, BUT I cannot divulge any more information at this time).
"But what will you do if she goes home?"
Just as Tony said when we decided to accept temporary custody of this baby--we will trust in the Lord, and not live in a spirit of fear. This precious baby deserves to be loved without hesitation. She deserves to be made a priority. She deserves to have a loving home full of laughter and joy. Her life deserves to be celebrated. Sometimes we as Christians are called to do hard things--and if she has to go home, even though it will be incredibly hard; we will trust in the Lord to give us strength to get through.
Please to not make me feel inhumane by telling me you couldn't do it because it would hurt too much. You are just making me feel like you think I am a glutton for punishment, or that you think I don't have a heart. Feel free to keep those comments to yourself.
"Why is she a rainbow baby?"
If you haven't followed our foster/adoption story for very long, you might not realize that Selah had another little sister that we thought we were going to be able to adopt with her. Due to some traumatic circumstances she only lived for 6 hours before she went to heaven. This sweet baby girl is the rainbow after a very dark storm.
We are choosing to love and celebrate the time we have with this sweet baby girl. Beauty among the ashes. Feel free to send us all of the prayers during this time--and lift the bios as well as they are broken hearted too.
How does this pertain to the fear we are all feeling about the coronavirus? We as a country can sit on facebook reading article after article about how this is dooms day and the world is ending--or we can use this extra family time to snuggle, love on, and hold the people we love dear. We can slow down from the hustle and bustle of sports and events and have a family game night or popcorn and a movie.
If we were to live in fear of her going home--we would miss the sweet smiles and cooing sounds that she is making. We would miss her opening those dark blue eyes, or yawning, or enjoying the perfect newborn smell.
Don't miss these moments because of the fear of what may or MAY NOT happen. It steals the joy from the right now.
**special thank you to everyone who brought over food, sent diapers, wipes, formula (especially since there is a shortage now!) clothes, and essential baby things that we needed in order to take care of this sweet little baby. I'm so incredibly blessed to call you my friends and family.